In His Hands; Through His Wisdom

A few months back, many opportunities to serve started coming in. Well, more like “pouring in.” In all reality, it felt like an all out deluge. And I am still moving about with wet sneakers. There has been a growing need within me to feel like I contribute to the greater good in this life. Being a good wife and mom is the most worthy effort anyone can perform and I am ever working on that. In addition to this, I have wanted to volunteer at the school, help others in the community and serve more faithfully in my church callings and responsibilities. Seeing as how I have only two children at home for most of the day, it has allowed me the freedom to feel I can volunteer for school things. So, at the beginning of the year, I signed up to help with various activities and needs as they came about. Much little did I know, the opportunities would come in droves all at about the same time. God was getting me ready to learn a life lesson (an eternal life lesson). For me, this has been a challenging time. The fact that I couldn’t get it all organized in my head or on paper (with six children one has to become quite spontaneous, at times) was only taunted by the memory of younger days, fewer distractions, and a greater ability to “conquer” all tasks (one handed, no mind you). All of the things I had been asked to do, were worthy causes. And weighing out each request: I felt in my heart that all needed my commitment to perform such services (I did say “no” to some opportunities, by the way). This said, the pressure kept building. And although I have been on my knees daily, praying for Heavenly Father’s help to accomplish all He has asked of me…I realized, my faith had not been sufficient. My burdens were too heavy for me to bear. So, I was asking for strength to bear them. One day, as I knelt crying out of desperation to know what to do, I felt a sweet calm come over me as remembered the verse, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). I understood a little better the miracle of the atonement. Christ bore our burdens for us, this includes sin, death, sickness, physical, emotional and spiritual trials. In order for his atonement to be efficacious in our own lives, we need to have faith that he took upon him these things. I knew in my heart how to get everything done, done well, and on time. My prayer became less panicky: ‘Heavenly Father, I cannot do this. I am unable to figure it out. I need Thee to figure it out for me. So here is my life. Please, give me back each task as I need to do them. And I will not worry. I will have faith….’ The days following that moment of clarity, have be nothing less than remarkable. Each day, I would go about doing various tasks. Whatever task presented itself, I would perform until I felt I needed to move on to something else. All the while, I was not afraid to take time for reading and playing with my kids, reading the scriptures, and taking little bits of time to refill my own “bucket.” I chose not to lack faith. Even still, I wondered in quiet moments, when a task was completed sufficiently and on time, how it was done. --Little by little, line upon line… When overwhelmed by so many responsibilities, I didn’t know how to get it all done. But He did. He does. And He will. I am so thankful to know that He applies His infinite wisdom to our lives collectively and individually. I came across an article today by Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (one of our living prophets today). He wrote, "Many carry heavy burdens...In one way or another, many are heavy laden... "...The Savior teaches that we will have tribulation in the world, but we should “be of good cheer” because He has “overcome the world” (John 16:33). His Atonement reaches and is powerful enough not only to pay the price for sin but also to heal every mortal affliction. "He knows of our anguish, and He is there for us." Dallin H. Oaks, “He Heals the Heavy Laden,” Liahona, Nov 2006, 6–9 http://www.blogger.com/www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=f92888f17feae010VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1 So I continue forward. I have some ideas of what today might include. But I have learned to more willingly put my life into the hands of my Heavenly Father through faith in the atonement of my Savior Jesus Christ. At times, I have said, “I’m fine if God drives, but I want to at least work the turn signal.” I know now, there is no need to cling to that paranoia. With an eternal perspective, all that is required of me, will be accomplished in faith and in His way. "Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend." Mosiah 4:9, The Book of Mormon